


Tim and Cass - Not Alone

by AceofEnder



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:53:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24981118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceofEnder/pseuds/AceofEnder
Summary: She could never escape the faces of fear writing across the people beneath her feet as a child. This would always linger on her mind, but she refused to show it.“Cass?”  She felt herself be pulled from those thoughts and silently chuckled to herself upon hearing the voice.  She refused to show it, and yet he always seemed to know.
Relationships: Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	Tim and Cass - Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Commission for @dc-sidekick-support-group on tumblr <3

Cassandra Cain was never the kind of person you saw across the room and wanted to strike up a conversation with. She was never the bright and bubbly girl like Steph, never the conversationalist like Dick, and never the intriguing one like Jason. Their family always saw her as the fighter, as the strong one. They saw her as someone cool, someone brave, someone mysterious, but that would never reach past her family. No, everyone would always see her as the monster, as the creepy girl in the corner of the gala, as the weird one who never spoke.

She knew this, she knew what they thought and what they’d always think. She would always be able to tell how uncomfortable she made the people Bruce tried introducing to her. She would always be was to see the slight look of panic on patrols when Black Bat was the one there to help. She could never escape the faces of fear writing across the people beneath her feet as a child. This would always linger on her mind, but she refused to show it.

“Cass?” She felt herself be pulled from those thoughts and silently chuckled to herself upon hearing the voice. She refused to show it, and yet he always seemed to know. “Hm?” She let out a small questioning hum at her tired looking brother. Tim sat down next to her on the soft grass, Cass had wandered around outside throughout the day to think. She was almost surprised he was able to find her. Almost. He smiled at her softly before speaking. 

“Care to tell your favorite brother what you’re doing out here?” Tim tried to lighten the mood a bit and flashed her a slight grin. She smiled for a moment before signing to him quickly. “Who says you’re my favorite?” Tim feigned an offended gasp before chuckling and offering his hand out to her. “Come on, I think you could use someone a bit less…moody.” He spoke while gesturing to the manor behind them with his other hand.

She hesitated for a moment and considered all her options. If she took his hand, she would burden him with her issues, but if she stayed, he would worry over her all night. She took a deep breath and grabbed his hand, pulling herself up carefully. Tim tried to keep holding her hand lightly, knowing if he gripped too hard it would set off her flight or fight instinct fairly quick. But he also knew that people she trusted to be around her, and to keep her in check when she was afraid of herself, helped ease her fears.

Tim watched Cass think to herself quietly, he knew how hard it could be to process everything she’s gone through. He knew he couldn’t read her mind, but she appreciated the company. It felt…reassuring to her, to have someone watching over her. Whether it was safe from someone or something else, or safe from herself, she appreciated her family.

They walked throughout the city in silence, Tim could tell there was too much on her mind right now to have a clear discussion. He led her around peaceful areas before she turned towards the Gotham Zoo and quietly ushered her brother to follow. He followed her, occasionally noticing her pause in front of an exhibit. “Dragonfly? Are you okay?” He spoke to her softly before she began to sprint off towards something. Tim tried to catch up to her, but he couldn’t see where she went.

She walked around the exhibits quietly, alone, trailing her hand across stone walls dividing plants and cages. She found herself standing in front of a small bird exhibit, full of birds happily flying above, and thin bird grounded on the grassy floor of the area. She felt herself think back to an old memory.

She remembered the feeling of crashing to the ground, her head was pounding at the time, all she could hear was ringing and then silence. She remembered waking up to screaming and aggressive shaking, only to look up and see the disappointed face of her father. He stood above her yelling about her failure, that she had failed to follow her target, that she was useless. She couldn’t speak at the time and she remembered the fear of feeling fear. She remembered looking down at her hands to see them covered in blood from the fall, her body was torn up and bruised. Yet all she could think of, was her failure.

She tried to catch her breath as the panic settled in her mind. She looked down at her hands to try to pull herself from this, she was stronger than this, right? After all, she’s a fighter, she’s Black Bat, she’s…Cassandra Cain. She wasn’t allowed to be afraid anymore. She felt her chest tighten and her throat felt closed off as she began to walked to the next exhibit.

She paused in front of an exhibit of tigers. Their eyes full of malice and violence, she watched as they walked around the cage, staring at her. She locked eyes with one and almost felt bad for it. Did they deserve to be locked away? Maybe they really were that bad. She thought to a time when she saw the same fear in the eyes of a man beneath her feet, as the people saw these creatures. 

She remembered the scared look in his eyes as he begged for her to let him go. To forgive his sins just once, that she could have anything she wanted. Money, fame, property, yet he couldn’t offer the one thing she wanted. To escape that life. To escape herself. She began to walk away and wonder if she really was like these animals, cold, caged, and terrifying.

Cass stumbled upon a metal cage, with a single lone animal inside. A lonely wolf with bright eyes and honed teeth, almost glaring at her. She felt like she could understand the anger on it’s face. The anger of being trapped by those around you, the anger of being seen as a monster, of being seen as a violent beast. The sky grew darker as dusk began to arrive, the slight shadows resting on her face as she pushed her hair out of her face.

Cass couldn’t see anything around her but the animal before her, couldn’t hear anything but the small whimpers from a wounded creature, couldn’t focus on anything but the steel bars separating everyone from this…beast. She reached her hand out as far as she could before the bars ended. It was cruel, wasn’t it? After all, this was just an animal trying to survive the way everyone else of their species did. Why lock it up?

She thought this to herself before she pushed her arm past the bars. She held out her hand to the wolf with little doubt, she held it out as if she were offering a hand up to her best friend. With nothing but kindness and comfort for the animal. She felt like she understood everything it was feeling, even if that were seemingly impossible. It almost felt as though it could understand her in that moment, reaching out carefully to the rough yet empathetic hand being held out.

Its warm fur had brushed up against her hand carefully, almost trying to test if she were trustworthy. She smiled slightly before pulling her hand back and letting out a stuttered mumble. “I’m sorry, I t-think you’re he-re like me. W-we need to be lo-cked up.” She thought “Because we’re dangerous.” to herself after letting out her broken words. The beast before her simply turned it’s back to her, walking back into the shadow covered area of its cage.

“Hey there Dragonfly.” She turned around frantically, head spinning with curiosity of how she didn’t hear him approach. “Why? Why can’t I keep up with myself anymore?” She began to think to herself before giving Tim a questioning look. She signed a hello to him carefully, trying her best to fix her dull eyes and tired smile. She moved her hands up to sign some sort of excuse, but Tim raised a finger at her, waving away any attempt at an excuse that she had left.

“Follow me.” Were the only words to leave his mouth as he ushered for Cass to follow him. He led her away from the zoo and asked her to close her eyes, promising to lead her safely. Tim took her arm carefully and walked her around, making sure she was safe with every step. "Okay, you can open your eyes now Dragonfly.“ He spoke to her softly, trying to ease the nerves he could see on her face. Cass’s eyes fluttered open gently after hearing her brother. For the first time all day, she let herself smile, a real genuine smile with her sharp eyes tearing up.

She looked around Tim’s room, the sight before her brought a smile to her face immediately. She laid her eyes on the display of photos, ones of her smiling, ones of her standing with Tim and Steph, ones of her sparring with her siblings. She looked around at the delicately decorated ballet flats on the desk, she looked at the small chain laid across the desk under a large mirror. She remembered that chain feeling like her only childhood possession.

She remembered losing all the photos, every trinket that she had kept, all on one day. She remembered the fire that had ruined her room in the manor, she thought about it for a moment before turning to Tim and signing towards him quickly. “How did you get it back? I thought it burned up.” Tim smiled in response and gestured to the desk “I tried to salvage what I could, and it took a bit of rebuilding for the mirror, I’m sorry I couldn’t save more of your stuff Cass.”

She picked up the small chain, she remembered it was the only thing her mother had given her when she was incredibly young. She didn’t need the memory of her mother, but it gave her a sense of relief growing up, it was nice to have. Cass smiled down at the chain in her hand before turning around and hugging Tim quickly with a smile. He returned the warm hug, wrapping his arms around her and giving her a grin after she pulled away.

“Can you tell me what’s going on Dragonfly? I know you’re not okay, we’ve noticed you know.” He spoke to her in a gentle tone, attempting to coax her into talking to him. “We?” She asked with a raised eyebrow, wondering who would’ve bothered noticing someone like her. “I noticed, Dick noticed, Stephanie noticed, Jason did too, Damian, Alfred of course, Babs saw you weren’t okay, even Bruce.” Tim told her, raising a finger for each member of their family. “They may not be able to notice what’s going on or how bad it is, but they can tell when their family is having a hard time Cass.” He added lightly.

She nodded slowly before signing back to Tim “I didn’t realize they noticed, or cared that much, when this happens.” She gestured to herself vaguely upon the word “this”. Tim’s expression softened as he tried to think of how to tell her how much they all cared. He decided he needed to show her, he held his hand out once more and asked her to follow him.

“Tim. Why are we here? I don’t need you to reassure me on this.” Cass signed to him as they walked to Dick’s room, Tim simply gave her a quick look before opening the door to their brother’s bedroom. Dick was sitting on his bed and looked over at them, taking his headphones off and giving them a small smile. “Hey you two! What’s up?” Tim turned to Cass with a comforting smile and gestured to their older brother.

“Tim said you were…worried about me.” Cass signed towards Dick slowly, trying to find the words to explain why they were there. Dick gave her a concerned look for a moment and nodded. “Well, yeah, you haven’t seemed like you’re doing so hot lately. Are you okay Cass? We’re your siblings after all, we’re here for you.” He told her with a tenderhearted smile. “I’m not sure.” She signed hesitantly while staying close to Tim.

Dick gave her a gentle warm look and stood up, getting off of his bed. He walked over and pulled Cass into a hug lightly, trying not to startle her, before speaking in a loving tone. “I know how that feels, we all do really, but it’s okay. It’s okay to feel like this.” He pulled away from her , before pointing at himself with a lighthearted grin “Just remember to rely on your big brother still, okay?” She silently chuckled at him before nodding and getting ready to leave the room.

Tim gave her a small smile and ushered to the beautifully painted door. Cass reached out to open the door hesitantly, while giving him a questioning look as to why they were going to their younger brother’s room. She stepped into the small room, seeing Titus laying at the foot of Damian’s bed as if he were waiting for the boy to come home. She cocked an eyebrow at Tim with curiosity written over her face, as he brought her over to his closet.

She watched as Tim pulled something thin and rolled up from the closet and handed it to her. “And don’t worry, I asked him if you could see.” He added as she looked at it with confusion. “What do you mean?” He shook his head and pointed at it “Just open it Dragonfly.” She unrolled the paper in her hand and stared for a moment with disbelief. She trailed her hand down the sheet of drawing paper and opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

Cass’s eyes trailed down the paper to see ink coating to form black hair, brown eyes painted with light tints in them, and golden skin adorning the page. She saw the thin coated painting of herself, with Damian’s name scrawled in the corner. She smiled before turning to Tim and signing in his direction. “What is this? How did you know about it? When did Damian make this?” Tim chuckled and told her to slow down before answering.

“It started as a sketch of you that Damian did one night when he couldn’t sleep. He said that he saw you training when he couldn’t get to bed. He told me about it when he showed me the base sketch, he needed to borrow inks for it. Apparently, he made it a few months ago.” Tim explained to her gently. Cass brightened up and smiled at him before looking back over at the painting. “Do you think he’d be okay with me having it?” She signed towards him quickly.

“I think he’d love that, I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear you enjoyed his piece.” Tim chuckled out, smiling a bit at the fact she seemed a bit better. “Come on, there’s a bit more that I’d like you to see, alright?” This time she nodded along without much hesitation, carefully rolling up the drawing and placing it back into Damian’s closet with care.

They paused in front of the temporary room for the only redhead in the manor. “Babs?” Cass mumbled the question slightly, only to receive a nod from her brother. Tim pushed the already open door further and brought Cass in with him. He closed the door and brought her over to Barbara’s work desk with her laptop and a cup of pens. 

Cass looked over to see a large picture framed on Barbara’s desk, the photo had Babs’ arm wrapped around Cass’s shoulder with a grin on her face. Cassandra had a slight smirk on her face and had a plastic crown on her head in the photo, Jason had made it for her birthday and put it on her head as a joke not knowing she would keep it on. In the background Dick could be seen with bunny ears above Barbara’s head, Tim with about eighteen presents in his hand, and Stephanie hanging above them with a grin.

On the bottom of the frame read “My Sisters” in Barbara’s handwriting, in little blue ink writing. Cass smiled at it a bit before hearing the door behind her creak open, Tim and Cass turned to see Barbara with a slight look of concern on her face. “What are you two doing here? Specifically, what’re you two doing in my room?” She questioned them, she wasn’t angry, just worried. Tim gave her a bit of a look before walking over and whispering in her ear about what was going on with Cass.

She walked over to Cass and pulled her into a tight hug before speaking “I’m not the most touchy-feely person in this house, but if you ever need help, I’m here.” Cass returned the hug with a small nod, as Tim lead her out of the room. “Are you okay Dragonfly?” Tim asked her gently, having good intentions of showing her how much their siblings cared, but wondering if it upset her more.

Cass stayed silent until they walked to her room, when they walked through the door, she let out a soft broken whisper. “What was that?” Tim asked her softly. “I think I need help.” She uttered in a harsh tone, almost angry at herself. “All day I’ve just been following you, following what you say, because if I do that then I’m not the one that needs help. I’m just the one listening. But I think I need it.” She signed quickly, with a look strung across her face like she was disappointed in herself.

He gave her a look of disbelief, like he couldn’t imagine someone he thought was so good, being so disappointed in herself. “Let me help you then.” He got the words out before realizing it sounded like he was begging, like he needed to plead this with her. “I can’t do that.” Cass mumbled in broken English while fiddling with the chain in her hands. “Why not?” He asked her, trying his best to remain calm. 

“Because I need to be the best. And the best doesn’t need help.” She signed with pain beneath her hazelnut eyes. “I don’t need you to be the best I need you to be you!” Tim grabbed her shoulders carefully before letting out the phrase towards his sister. “I don’t need you to be the best. I needed you to be my sister.” He whispered the broken words not knowing if they even spilled through his parted lips as anything but a mumble in the wind.

She looked shocked, as if she didn’t feel as though anyone needed her, let alone her brother. Tim sat her down on her bed before continuing to speak gently. “Dragonfly, we all need you. But we don’t need you to be the best. We need you to be you and we need you to learn that it’s okay to need help. Do you think we’re weak when we need help?” The question settled in her mind for a moment before she shook her head violently, signing a simple no towards him.

“Exactly. Cass. You’re strong, you’re brave, you’re brilliant. But you are not infallible, and I need you to know that. It’s okay to need help, it’s okay to feel bruised and weak. But it’s also necessary to get the help you need when you feel like a mess.” Tim spoke to her softly before pulling her into a tight hug. “So tell me what’s running through your head, please. I love you, we all love you, you’re part of our family, not just another hero alongside us.”

For a long time Cassandra Cain was supposed to be perfect, she was supposed to be strong and flawless, calculated and frankly, she was supposed to be the best. But today she let herself be broken. Tim felt her tears drip down his arm slowly, as if she were simply waiting for them to stop so she could move on, but she let out four shattering words as a question for him. “Am I a monster?” 

Tim’s breathing halted as he heard the words exit her mouth, the question was the first sentence she had spoken all day to come out clearly. And it broke his heart. “Of course not.” He stated matter-of-factly, before pulling away and staring her in the eyes. “Dragonfly, you are one of the bravest people I know. The kind of person who would stare death in the face and simply ask it to return your friends. You’re one of the funniest people I know, the kind of person to prank Jason without any repercussion. You’re the kind of person who stands tall and strong at every crisis, who’s in pain but walks through the fire and comes out without any burns.”

He continued on in a soft tone while watching her fiddle with the chain. “You’re the kind of person who could stand against a beast trying to kill you, and come out with a tamed creature. You’re the kind of person that I look up to, but you’re also the kind of person I want to show their faults more. Above all else, you’re the best you I could ever ask for, my sister, my friend, my partner in not-crime, my family. You are no monster, not now, not then, not ever.” Cass leaned forward to hug him with a tight grip, her nails scarping up part of his skin on accident, her tears slipping down his shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” She tried to find the words to explain what she needed to say, but the only two to come out were a soft apology. She was no longer sure what the apology was for, but she felt it was necessity to beg for forgiveness. To cry her apology to the stars if it would atone for her mistakes. Until her ears rung with the simple for from her brother. “Don’t be.”

“It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past. You know what? Yeah it does, it always will. Because it shows how much you’ve changed, it shows how you’ve fought in spite of those around you, it shows that you’ve changed regardless of how you were raised. Cass,” He told her gently “You were raised as a weapon. As something for destruction, as something to cause pain for one man and his cause. But look at you now Dragonfly. You fight, and you fight to preserve. You do everything in your power to protect, to defend, to keep these people and these places safe. So that at the end of the day, they can go home to their families, just like you.” He pointed to a small picture of their family on her nightstand.

“Now, I don’t know about you. But that definitely doesn’t sound like a monster to me. That sounds like a guardian to me Dragonfly.” He gave her a small genuine smile, reminding her that if she didn’t believe in herself, he would. She felt her face stain itself with tears, but she felt her lips curl up into a light smile. One that made her feel safe, safe being herself.

“I’m so- Thank you.” She cut herself off and gave him one last hug. “Can you stay with me, for a bit? I’m not okay right now.” She signed the words to him hesitantly. “Of course Dragonfly, your emotions don’t get fixed in one simple moment, but hey. I’m proud of you for saying that, it takes a hell of a lot more strength to admit you need help, than it does to keep it all inside.” She would remember his next words for the rest of her life.

“Most of all, it takes strength to go through that, and live to walk out the other side. Thank you, and please don’t stop anytime soon."


End file.
